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Tijuana FAQ #2

For the latest information on Tijuana...

I recommend that you visit Juan's Tijuana at www.juanstijuana.com
for maps, reports, reviews and discussion boards. Jackson


This is an update to the excellent TJ FAQ that has been posted here for
some time.  This update is current as of 4/29/94.  It is factual, but
opinionated, so keep that in mind as you read what follows:

WHERE TO STAY:

If your main purpose is to visit TJ, I recommend the Best Western Cavalier
in Chula Vista.  A room with a queen bed will run you $39 (or, if you are
an old fart like Papa, and belong to their Senority program, you can get
it for $35).  The place is typical Best Western, and very easy to get to.
Just take the E Street off ramp from I-5, drive on block, and there you
are.  Within a one block area of the Motel is a Black Angus, Anthony's
Seafood Grotto, and  Taco Bell.  Speaking as the original fast food
gourmet, the Taco Bell there is one of the best I've eaten at.  Whatever
you usually order, cut your order in half as they make 'em BIG.  Also, in
the shopping center across the street is a neat bar called the Little
China Club.  Stop in, have a few, and enjoy the really knock-out barmaids
there.  WARNING:  The Best Western is always full, so MAKE RESERVATIONS
(1-800-528-1234).

HOW TO GET TO TJ:

If you stay at the Best Western, it will take you less then 10 minutes to
drive to the border.  Just drive I-5 South until you come to the exit
marked "LAST US EXIT--PARKING LOTS"  Don't freak out if you miss it...Just
before you cross into Mexico, there is an exit marked "U Turns" ore
something like that, where you can turn around and try it again.

The closest parking lot to the border crossing will cost you $5 for 24
hours.  There is security, but BE SURE to park you car where it is
unlikely to be hit by a drunk trying to get in or out of the lot.  You pay
the $5 in advance, so be SURE to keep your ticket safe.

From the parking lot, you will walk about 1 block to the turnstiles where
you enter Mexico.  There are no formalities...Just walk on thru.  Keep
walking straight ahead till you come to the bus/taxi area. You'll see a
guy wearing a plastic ID card around his neck.  He's the "dispatcher" for
the cabs...Just tell him you want to go to the Chicago Club, and he will
tell you what taxi to take.

The ride to the Chicago Club takes less then 5 minutes.  Fact is you can
easily walk it if you know the way, and are in the mood.  Anyway, the cabs
have no meter, but don't worry.  The days of the notorious gypsy cabs in
TJ are long over...Thank god!  When you get to the Chicago Club, just give
him $5.  By the way, all the cabs at the border are Yellow Cabs, but in
the Zona (where you now are..Welcome!), most are Black and Whites.  Don't
sweat it, though, as they are completely reliable.

THE CHICAGO CLUB:

If you have never been here before, you may have trouble finding the
entrance.  The sign for the Club is huge, and stretches across the whole
building, but the actual entrance is a small, open door.

The Chicago Club is a big, square joint with no real atmosphere.  There is
a dance floor in the middle, with tables set up around it, and booths
along the back and side walls.  A bar runs down one side, but practically
no one but the girls sit there.  The sound system is really great, though.

If you arrive before 8:00 pm, you can catch their happy hour (2-8 pm),
where beer and local spirits are 2 for one.  There won't be anybody there
but you, so sit at the bar.  When the girls start to arrive, transfer to a
table or booth.

If you arrive after 8:00 pm, they'll seat you at a table or booth.  Beers
cost $2.  Order, and take a look around.

The girls will mainly be sitting along the bar, facing the tables, or on a
bench near the front entrance.  DO NOT expect anybody to come over and
talk to you, because they won't EVEN if you make eye contact. Some will
silently flirt with you (licking their lips, normally), but if you want to
talk to one, you'll have to invite her over (in person, or ask the waiter
to), and buy her a drink.  Ladies drinks cost $8, and you WILL NOT be able
to get a girl out of there without buying her at least one.

The girls at Chicago Club, as a group, and the best looking in the area,
BUT if you have dreams about finding that classic young Chicana beauty
with long dark hair and eyes, forget it.  The girls at the Chicago Club
are mostly bleached blondes (YOU go figure...I can't).  They are nice
looking, and alot have great looking bodies (at least, with their clothes
on!).  Most speak English well enough to have a conversation with.
Anyway, if you find one you like, I suggest asking HER how much she wants.
 Most will ask YOU how much you want to pay.  Figure that it will cost you
$60 (less if it is late) for a blow job and fuck.

The girl will take you to the hotel next door, which will cost you $10.
Once in the room, you will find that a rubber is required for EVERYTHING,
even a BJ.  No use arguing about it, because it won't do any good.  The
girls are good at what they do, but don't expect any long conversations or
slow, sensual lovemaking.  The object is to get you off and out as quickly
as possible.  After you finish, you will be expected to give $1 to the
roomboy.  Don't worry if you forget, as both the girl AND the boy will
remind you!

MY OPINION:  The Chicago Club has the best looking girls, but it is NOT
the wild but friendly place that many of the bars in TJ used to be.  You
will sit by yourself until you select a girl.  No one will talk to you,
and the other customers all seem to keep to themselves.  I personally find
the joint cold, and lacking in atmosphere.  The bathroom is about as
raunchy as you can get, which is surprising considering that the place
supposedly caters to "big spenders".  And, to add insult to injury, you'll
find a guy sitting in the bathroom with a large plastic bucket marked
"TIPS"...Tips for what, I have no idea!

BOTTOM LINE:  At MINIMUM it will cost you $80 (that's $60 for the girl,
one drink for each of you, and the room) plus tips to get a girl there.
It's up to you to decide if it is worth it.

THE ADELITA BAR:

If the Chicago Club is cold and unfriendly, the Adelita Bar is NOT!  It is
just across the intersection from the Chicago Club, and is always packed
with customers, and girls of all types and descriptions.  The music is
loud, so are the customers, and it is definitely friendly!  don't let the
fact that you will probably  be the only gringo in the place bother you,
as it doesn't bother them!

Sit at the bar, be sure to tip t insure fast and friendly service, and
check out the girls who roam around.  They come is all ages and sizes, but
you can definately find a goodlooking one without trying too hard.  After
you have been there for a while, the girls will begin to approach you and
chat with you.  You'll also find some of the customers stopping by to chat
as well, or to invite you to join them and their friends at a table.  Be
friendly, and you'll have a ball.  By the way, the girls don't seem to
care if you buy them a drink or not.  There main interest is getting you
"upstairs", so they usually forget to even ask for one.  If you do buy
them a drink, the price is the same as at the Chicago Club...$8

Late in the evening, they have a couple of girls that come out, dance and
strip.  Interestingly, they usually remove their panties, but not their
bras, which should give you some indication as to the firmness of their
bodies!  Anyway, you probably won't pay much attention, anyway.

If you find a girl you like, she will ask you if you want to "go
upstairs".  If you remember TJ from the good old days, this DOES NOT mean
going upstairs to a short-time room.  It means going next door to a hotel,
where you will pay $10 for a room.  You will have no trouble getting the
girl to go for $40.  This will get you, as usual, a blow job and/or fuck
(with condom, of course).  If you have more on your  mind (anal, for
example) you can get it from some of the girls, but it will cost you
extra.  Suggestion:  When the girl asks you to go upstairs, ask her what
she can do for you.  She'll tell you.  If you want something more, tell
her.  If she can't help you ask her to recommend someone.  You can pretty
much get whatever you want at the Adelita Club, as long as you are willing
to pay.  By the way, if you like to eat pussy, better ask before you get
to the room, as some of the girls are unwilling to do it (fear of AIDS,
believe it or not)---Far cry from the "old days" when the girls took real
delight in finding a customer that would go down on them!  Some I remember
left you wondering WHO the CUSTOMER really was!  Also, the girls that do
"specialty" stuff...Anal, 2-girl lesbian acts, etc., ...Tend to be the
older ones, so you decide how important it is to you.

Some of the girls speak English, some don't speak it at all.  If YOU speak
some Spanish, you are miles ahead, but you can get by without it will
little trouble.  I've noticed that some of the girls who dont speak
English will be reluctant to approach you, but you can always go talk to
them!

A word of warning:  If you fall in with a group of Mexican customers, they
will likely try to "fix you up" with one of the girls...Try to discourage
them, as they will like not have the same tastes as you do, and it can be
embarrassing if you have to tell your new amigos that you don't like their
choice in women!  Easiest way is to just say you have your eye on someone
already....

IS IT WORTH IT?

I a word, no.  TJ is NOT cheap.  A short-time, as I indicated, with a girl
from the Chicago Club will cost you AT MINIMUM $80.  You could get the
same thing on the streets of most US cities for $50.  In San Jose, Costa
Rica, a real beauty at the Key Largo will cost you about $30 short time,
and about $20 at the Park Hotel.  Frankly, the quality will be MUCH
better.  YOu will pay about the same ($20 - 30) for a shortime in Bangkok
and Manila, and will get a MUCH better looking, MUCH younger girl.  Also,
in those locations (NOT Costa Rica) you will not have to wear a condom for
a BJ unless you want to.  (How times change:  In the 60's in TJ it was not
uncommon for a girl to REFUSE to have sex if you insisted on wearing a
condom...Good Catholics!)  $2 for a beer is Stateside pricing, and $8 for
a ladies drink is outrageous, compared to the places mentioned above.  The
girls are also far more interested in getting you up, off and out QUICKLY
then in other places I have bee.  Trust me:  For $80 you can get a great
piece of ass on Sunset Blvd in LA!

So, should you go?  Sure.  The experience will be interesting, and THAT is
worth something!  It's safe (unlike the old day), and definately worth a
look.   By the way, TJ is no longer an "all night town"...By about 2 am,
most places will be closed.

GETTING HOME:

Just stand at the curb in front of the Adelita Bar, and wait for a taxi to
come by.  Tell him you want to go to the border.  Again, give him $5.
MAKE SURE you have correct change, for TJ taxi drivers, like everywhere
else, NEVER have change!

When you reach the border, walk to the point of entry for pedestrians and
be prepared for a shock...Unlike at SEATAC, LAX or SFO, the Immigration
guys here are, in a word, assholes.  If they hassle you, it does no good
to get pissed off as you have NO RIGHTS as a U.S. citizen until they admit
you.  If they ask for identification, a driver's license should do,
although I once had one tell me that my Nevada driver's license didn't
prove anything.  I (sort of) politely told him that it proved I was a
resident of Nevada, and that I had presented a Social Security card, and
proof of citizenship or legal residency to get it in the first place.  He
thought about that for awhile,(some of these guys are not real swift), and
then let me pass.  Other times, they will just ask you what country you
are a citizen of, and, when you say US, let you pass.

A WORD ABOUT DRINKING IN MEXICO

As most traveler's know, foreign beers, as served in their native
countries, are much more potent then US beers.  Most would have to be
classified as Malt Liquors to be sold in the US.  Foreign brews sold in
the US are specially brewed for the US market, and ARE NOT the same as in
their native countries.  If you are a Joe 6-Pack (or, in Papa's case, a
Joe 12-Pack), GO SLOW, and EAT before you start drinking.  THe Mexican
brews will do a number on you if you aren't careful!  If you drink
Tequilla, keep in mind that what you are most likely to be served is
Mescal, which WILL put your lights out early.  Be warned!!

AFTERTHOUGHTS

Sitting in the Adelita Bar will give you the closest idea of any of the
clubs in the area of what things were like in TJ 30 years or so ago.  I
find myself thinking back to the great places like the Brooklyn Bar, where
things were jumping 24  hours a day and the place was always full of
gringos.  I remember how hard it was (we used to make drunken bets on it)
to come up with something the girl would say "no" to when she asked you,
in a seductive whisper, "what do you want?"  I remember the room upstairs
where they would take you, that was visible from the bar downstairs and
where some of the girls, advertising their talents, would "accidently"
forget to close the door, providing the patrons with a REAL show! All that
is gone now, as are the hundreds of gringos that used to flock to those
places every night.

One visit to TJ once in awhile will probably be more then enough for you.
If you don't really care for it much, you might want to check out some of
the Hostess Bars in San Diego that are mainly staffed with WESPAC widows
and divorced Navy wives (usually asian)...But...THAT is another story....

PAPA DAVE


Subject: Tijuana#1 Date: 15 Aug 1995 06:45:46 GMT Hi amigos: I've read postings on Tijuana before and since I go there so often I thought I'd post my own own article on my experiences in this city. I hope its informative. Parking: Unlike the other TJ scribes, I prefer to take my car to Mexico as long am not drinking. Driving to the other side is cheaper and I feel I have more freedom to go where I want. The only problem is that you have to park far away from the Zona Roja(6-12 blocks). How to get to the Zona Roja: Go northbound on Constitucion to the street Articulos 123. You are now in the Zona Roja. You will see many ladies with skimpy clothes just standing around( some read Mexican paperback novels). Context: I've been to many cities in Mexico and believe me Tijuana definetly has the biggest hooker scene. There are more than a dozen brothel/bars and there are almost a 100 hookers on the street on a busy night. Brothel/Bars: I feel this topic has been well covered by other TJ scribes so I will just have a few words on it. First, you don't have to go to La Adelita or Chicago Bar to have a good time. There are bars that are cheaper and there too you can find pretty ladies. Also, in many of these bars you dance with the hookers before going up to the room to banda music. In my opinion it makes for a more entertaining night. If this is not your cup of tea, you can at least check it out. There is no cover. Street Hookers: This is a topic that is mostly overlooked for some reason. I've picked up many ladies this way. They all stand around in the same general area in front of these small hotels. They charge 50 pesos which is less than 9 dollars. I offer 10 dollars and they usually accept although some may ask for more if they know you're American. Try to speak to them in Spanish even if its really bad. Hotel rooms usually cost 3 dollars altough there is one that cost 5 and another one that cost 2. There are many hotels and each girl works out of one of them. Its kind of funny but since I go here so many times many of the girls know me and start soliciting me instead of vice versa. Many of the girls are pretty. Their ages range from 18- 35 with the average probably being 22. Some are mothers trying to make ends meet and others are real whores who have been in the profession for more than a little bit. Some will do anything for the 10 dollars. They are so into it that you wonder who the real client is. Others won't even take their tops off. It all depends on who you pick up. After I pick up my first hooker for the night, I go walk around TJ or go to a bar, and after a hour or so, I go back out and pick another one I like or sometimes I pick the same one. The prices are so cheap that sometimes I stay in TJ 5 hours and pick up three or four girls. I hope my report has been informative. I did not touch on some of the other topics because they have been so well covered by my fellow TJ cronists. If you are a Tijuana frequenter, e mail me and we can talk about some of the better spots and ladies. I'm always trying to get a better idea of the TJ scene. I still haven't even been to La Adelita or Chicago( the prices are more expensive and its farther away from some of the other clubs). I'm probably going his weekend again and I might go at least visit them. I can't imagine the girls being that much prettier there but who knows. Bye, El Tijuanense


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