World Sex Guide Document: East-Kent

East Kent, United Kingdom
Most Visitors arriving by sea or through the Channel Tunnel will enter
Britain through Dover, Ramsgate or Folkestone. Here's how to get laid
in these places.

There are three ways to find a girl - the local weekly newspaper, or
the 'Daily Sport', or a card-sized advert in a shop window, usually a
city-centre newsagent.

The local papers usually appear on Thursdays, cost around 40 pence,
and list around 10 girls and a few massage establishments within a
radius of 40 miles. The Sport lists hundreds, but you need to know
your British dialling codes and/or the road numbering system to make
sense of many of them. 01843 is the dialling code for Thanet area
(Margate, Ramsgate), 01303 is Folkestone, 01304 is Dover and 01227 is
Canterbury, Herne Bay. M20J8 means 'near Junction 8 on Motorway
M20'. Many of the girls now use mobiles (these have codes that DO NOT
start with '01').

If you ring their phone numbers, you will often be disappointed. No
reply, 'not working today', 'try again later' are responses you will
often get. The ones who are 'doing business today' have an off-putting
habit of directing first-time callers to some public telephone box,
probably in the middle of a grotty suburban housing estate or in a
slum cleance area, from where you have to make a second call. This is
to prove that you are a genuine 'punter' and not just some pervy
time-waster. There is a fair chance that, having made your way to the
designated call-box, equipped yourself with a phonecard or handful of
small change, and dialled the girl's number again, there will be an
engaged tone, or no answer, or you will be told to try again later as
a client has just walked through the front door! Patience! The average
strike rate seems to be aound 40%; make sure you have a second and
third number up your sleeve.

If you are successful, you will be in for a surprise. The call girls
range from the total professionals (middle-aged, wardrobes full of
leather and lingerie, videos, s/m equipment), to housewives, casuals,
aromatherapists who do some 'relief' on the side, and complete novices
and schoolgirl co-operatives. Charges vary considerably; from about
UKP25 for a quickie to UKP50-70 for half an hour; more for a long
visit or special requirements. To be fair, most of them do not rush
you and you will leave feeling reasonably well satisfied. Few have
private showers - and their sheer lack of sophistication, their
provincial Englishness can be quite stimulating.

The oddest one I have come across in this part of the country is a
girl called Sophie, who lives in a country mansion near Lymbridge. Her
number is 0860 258344. She offers a one-hour nude massage for UKP60,
during which she talks incessantly about the evils of the modern world
and the stupidity of her other clients. Though not unattractive, hers
is a typically British, businesslike and unromantic approach to
sex. But she doesn't rush you - you have to make a move when it's time
to leave!!

This leaves only the fixed-base establishments, of which there are two
in Folkestone. I recommend Duos, 01303 273730, at 27 Risborough Road
in Cheriton, just a mile or so from the Channel Tunnel. This is a
well-run, only slightly sleazy 'spa and sauna' outfit, normally open
11.00-21.00 Mondays to Saturdays. It is quiet. Two girls sit in the
front room of a small terraced house waiting for visitors. The room
quickly fills with smoke. You will be offered tea or coffee when you
arrive, and there is absolutely no pressure to do business: you can
sit and chat to the ladies for as long as you like, and leave again if
you wish. Charges are as follows: UKP20 admission to the bedroom and
use of showers, UKP10 use of spa bath (recommended), UKP10 use of
sauna (advance notice required - it takes about 30 mins to warm up!),
plus, for the girls, UKP40 relief, or UKP50 French, or UKP60 full
sex. Sounds expensive? It isn't, if you think about it. For UKP90 I
got: 15 mins chat with two sexy ladies over coffee, then choose one of
them, then 10 mins to strip off and have a sexy shower together, then
extended cuddles and foreplay on the bed, then 20 mins nude frolics in
the spa bath, then 20 mins on the bed (various positions), finally
another cuddly, soapy shower, and the offer of more free coffee - I
had the time of my life! Sally, who works Mons, Weds and Fridays, is
terriffic, and so are quite a few of the others. The only problem
seems to be that it is not that busy and some of the girls leave after
a few weeks because they don't make that much working there. For
punters with time on their hands it's ideal, though.

Second option in Folkestone: Sparky's 'Photo Studio', another Kentish
oddity. Tel 01303 245125. Near town centre, in a kind of
warehouse. Its hours are Mon-Fri, 12.00-23.00. There are two basic
options, both of which cost UKP40 for 30 mins. Option 1: take rude
pictures of a girl posing in the nude or in an assortment of tarty
clothes. Option 2: nude massage with 'hand relief'. A one-hour
combination of the two is recommended. They also have video sessions,
two-girl sessions can be arranged for UKP80. The girls are friendly
and can hold a saucy pose, but maybe not to everyone's liking. Sue is
plumpish, motherly, has a very hoarse voice from too much smoking,
Jade is young and slim, with good, firm breasts. Both enjoy a laugh, a
coarse joke, and don't mind a bit of rough horseplay.
HOME | Top | United Kingdom | Archive Index |