~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alt.Sex.Services Thailand FAQ A primer on what is happening in the City of Angels. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Version 1.2 March 1995 Revision History: Version 1.0a Posted January 24, 1995 First attempt Version 1.1 Posted January 30, 1995 Fixed typos! Expanded General Bangkok section Expanded Money section Expanded Thermae description Expanded Nana Plaza description Expanded Patpong description Added subsection on escort agencies Added subsection on Soi 33 Added subsection on discos Added hotel listing Added gay bar listings Divided into three parts due to the length Version 1.2 Posted March 1, 1995 to alt.sex.services and alt.sex.brothels Added info on blow job bars to Patpong Added tips for saving money at your hotel Added section on short time hotels Expanded the description of bars on Soi Cowboy Added section on how to behave (after several requests to do so) Clarified massage parlor pricing Added section on "lady houses" Added information of interest to Japanese readers ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ People ask, what is the deal in Bangkok, Thailand? What services are offered and how much do they cost? This FAQ was developed to help answer those questions, and recognizes that probably less than 1 in 1,000 readers of this FAQ will ever visit Thailand. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Contents: 1 General Thailand and Bangkok Info -- Getting around -- AIDS -- Money -- Guidebook recommendation -- Hotel list -- How to behave [This is really important!] 2 Bangkok -- Patpong * Sex Shows * Falling in love * Blow Job Bars -- Soi Cowboy -- Nana Plaza -- Soi 33 -- Famous artists! -- Grace Hotel -- Thermae -- Massage -- Discos -- Escort agencies -- Short time hotels -- Lady houses -- Japanese Clubs -- Gay Bars Listing 3 Pattaya 4 Phuket 5 Northern provinces ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION 1 -- GENERAL INFORMATION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 1 -- GETTING AROUND The grid below will help you get an idea as to where things are located in Bangkok. The city center is basically located at grid 4B. I have marked it with an "X" Sukhumvit road begins at Grid 5E and runs diagonally down to Grid 6G. The Soi numbers increase as you move away from the city center. Z marks the spot where Soi Cowboy is located. Patpong is located just about at the intersection where Grid 5 C+D meet Grid 6 C+D. Look for the letter P. The airport is way out at well beyond 1D. Look for the letter "W". : A : B : C : D : E : F : G : H : I : J : ------------------------------------------------------ 1: : : : W: : : : : : : ------------------------------------------------------ 2: : : : : : : : : : : ------------------------------------------------------ 3: : : : : : : : : : : ------------------------------------------------------ 4: : X : : : : : : : : : ------------------------------------------------------ 5: : : : : Z: : : : : : ----------------P------------------------------------- 6: : : : : : : : : : : ------------------------------------------------------ 7: : : : : : : : : : : ------------------------------------------------------ Traffic is as bad as everyone says. Might even be worse. If you stay at a hotel along Sukhumvit, you can easily walk between Soi Cowboy and Nana and the Grace Hotel. It is a bit too far to comfortably walk from Sukhumvit to Patpong. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 2 -- AIDS AIDS is real, and if you are not smart about it, you are both stupid and dangerous. Stupid to yourself and dangerous to others. Please, please, please, practice safe sex. If you go to a massage parlor, they WILL require the use of a condom. Most of the girls who work the clubs also require them. You have to have second thoughts about anyone who doesn't. While on the subject, there is a great restaurant and bar called Cabbages and Condoms. It is off Sukhumvit Soi 12. It has a condom motif, and instead of after-dinner mints they offer after-dinner condoms. If you've ever been slightly embarrassed by openly discussing condoms, this place will cure your embarrassment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 3 -- MONEY The unit of currency is the baht. The exchange rate hasn't changed too much in the past 20 years. You'll get between 24 and 26 baht to the dollar. Think of the baht as being worth 4 US cents. Twenty-five baht to the dollar. A five-baht note is worth 20 cents. A 10 baht note is worth 40 cents. A 20 baht note is worth 80 cents. A 100 baht note is worth $4 and a 500 baht note is worth $20. Don't worry about figuring out your currency exchange to the fourth decimal point. Also keep that in mind when fighting with a taxi driver over the fare. The difference between a 40 baht fare and a 50 baht fare is 40 cents. Relax. Enjoy. At virtually every bar, you will be given the opportunity to "run a tab." Order your drink, and the waitress or bartender will put a slip of paper in a glass, mug, cup, or something that sits in front of you. Some places will give you an additional drink slip for every drink, most just keep adding to the total. If you are smart, you will periodically take a peek and see where you stand. This can eliminate unpleasant surprises later on. I usually look right after my first drink. Then I know what my drinks are costing. If I buy a drink for a sweet young lady, I check as soon as they put the slip for that drink in my cup. Now I know how much the lady drinks are. Now mind you, we are talking about relatively small amounts of money here. Is a beer 30 baht or 35 baht? Is a girl's drink 45 baht or 55 baht? I have never been shocked by an outrageous drink price, so it is not like the "B" joints in the US, where you can sip on a $2 beer, offer a lady a drink, and end up paying $10 for some watered-down tea that she downs in a single swallow. I have never run into a "bottle" scam in a Bangkok bar either. The exception to all of this can be at the sex shows upstairs in the patpong clubs. There, check your bill after every drink. More on that in the Patpong section. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 4 -- GUIDEBOOKS The best guidebook, in my opinion, is Bangkok Handbook, by Michael Buckley, Moon Publications. It was first published in January 1992, and even if you cannot find a later edition, it is still worth buying. It has an entire chapter on nightlife, along with maps, and doesn't offer any patently wrong information. No, I don't make any money if you buy it! There are other good books, Cityguide:Bangkok by Insight comes to mind, as does Baedeker's Bangkok, but neither does as good a job of openly discussing the true Bangkok nightlife. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 5 -- HOTEL LIST If you are disinclined to spend $10 to $20 on a guidebook, but don't mind spending a small fortune on telephone and fax charges, following is a list of hotels in The City of Angels that may or may not come in handy. I've found that travel agencies are good at identifying the $225 a night busines hotel like the Hyatt or the Sheraton, but not so good at finding the $40 a night hotels hidden on the back sois. Here is a good strategy for saving some money on hotels while in Bangkok. Go ahead and make your reservation wherever you want. The first morninggn you are there, walk around and if you see a hotel you like, walk in, ask to see a room, and ask them what the rate is if you check in within an hour. You may find them offering you a 50% discount! Don't check in, tell them you will be right back, and go to your hotel and tell them you are checking out. If you mention that you are getting a killer deal somewhere else, they may offer you a discount to stay. If they offer you a deal, you may want to stay, if not, leave and go to the other hotel. In any event, you will have saved some money on your lodging, which you can then use at night! The list was reasonably current when last updated in February, 1994 -- but things change, so don't flame me if a phone number or hotel name has changed. Can't find a hotel? Try adding or subtracting the words "New" or "Royal" from the name. The letters (GH) stand for guest house. Hotel Phone Address or Approximate Area Airport 566-1020 333 Chertwudthakas, Rd., Donmuang Airport Bangkok 522-8921 88/117 Viphavadee, Rangsit Amar Inn 235-7182 1450 Soi Shangri-La Hotel, New Road Amari Airport 566-1020/1 Near Airport Ambassador 254-0444, 8 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd. 255-0444 Aquarius 286-0217 234 Soi Hatayana, Suanplu Rd. Ariston 259-0960-71 Sukhumvit, Soi 24 Asia 215-0813-7 296 Phyathai Rd. Asoke Place 258-3733, 4/49 Soi Asoke (21), Sukhumvit 258-3742 Baiyoke Suite 253-0362-8 Baiyoke Tower Bangkok Centre 238-4848-57 Rama 4 Bangkok Inn 254-4834-7 Sukhumvit, Soi 11 Bangkok Palace 253-0500-25 1091/366 New Pechburi Rd. BKK Christian (GH) 233-2206 Silom Rd. Baron Hotel 246-0250 544 Soi Huaykwang, Ratchadapisek Rd. Bourbon St. 259-0329 29/4 Soi 22, Sukhumvit Boulevard 255-2930 Sukhumvit Business Inn 254-7981-4 155/4-5 Soi 11, Sukhumvit 255-7155-8 Carlton Inn 258-0471-3 Centaur Inn 237-1405, 488-488/1 Surawongese Rd. 234-9408 Sipraya Central Plaza 541-1234 1695 Paholyothin, 1/2 way to airport Century 245-1755 Near Pratunam market China Town 266-1267-92 Chinatown?? City Inn 252-1552 Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Sq. Classic Inn 255-3988/9 120/51-54 Rachapraprop Rd., Pratunam, Phatathai Classic Place 255-4444-9 Comfort Inn 251-9250, 153/11-4 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd. 251-0745 Comfort Promenade 253-4116, 18 Soi 8, Sukhumvit Rd. 253-2876 Continental 278-1596-8 971/16 Phaholyothin Rd, Near weekend market CP Apartment 234-0991-3 Crown 258-0318-9 Sukhumvit, Soi 29 Crystal 277-8221,3 65 Soi Nathong, Ratchadapisek Rd, Huay Kwang Dorchester 270-0904 Pratipat, Soi Kotoey Dusit Thani 236-0450-9 Silom/Suriwong/New Road Embassy 279-2641-1 Sapankwai Eve House 233-0101 18-18/1 Surawongese Rd. Thaniya Corner Federal 253-0175 Sukhumvit, Soi 11 First 255-0111-20 2 Petchburi Rd. Florida 245-3221 43 Phyathai Rd, Siam square Fortuna 251-5121-5 Sukhumvit, Soi 5 Golden Dragon 589-5148 Near airport Golden Gate 251-5354 Sukhumvit, Soi 2 Grace 253-0671 12 Soi 3, Sukhumvit Rd. Grand Hyatt Erawan 252-9100 Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Square Grand Inn 253-3380, 217-8 Soi 3 Sukhumvit Rd. 254-9021-6 Hilton Int'l 253-0123 2 Wireless Rd., Nailert Park, Ploenchit Holiday Inn 238-4300 Silom/Suriwong/New Road Honey 253-0645-9 Sukhumvit, Soi 19 Impala 258-8612-6 9 Soi 24, Sukhumvit Rd. Imperial 254-0111 6 Soi Ruamrudi, Ploenchit Rd. In Town 253-5474-5 40/6-7 Soi 3, Sukhumvit Rd. Indra regent 251-0111, Rajprarop Rd. 252-0111 Jade Pavillion 259-4675-86 Jim's lodge 255-3100-3 Kabana Inn 233-4652, 1147/2-3 New Road, Bangrak 234-7470 Landmark 254-0404 138 Sukhumvit Rd. Le Meridien 253-0444 135/25 Gaysorn Rd. Liberty 280-1924 Pratipat Rd. Madras Lodge 235-6761 92/1, 31/9-10 Silom Rd. Trok 13 Majestic Palace 281-5000 97 Rajadamnern, near UN offices Malaysia 286-3582 Rama 4, Soi Ngam-Duplee Mandarin 238-0230-59 Silom/Suriwong/New Road Manhattan 255-0166, 12 Soi 15, Sukhumvit Rd. 255-0188 Manora 234-5070 412 Surawongse Rd. Menam 289-1148-90 2074 New Road Mermaid's Inn 211-8530, 447/2 Sathorn Tai Rd. 211-6017 Mermaid's Rest 253-5122-5 39 Soi 8, Sukhumvit Rd. Metro 314-4741 New Petchburi, edge of BKK Miami 253-5611 Sukhumvit, Soi 13 Middle East Sahara 252-5081, 21/22 Sukhumvit, Soi 3/1 Nana 252-8575 Mido 270-0447-8 222 Soi Santisaewee, Pradipat Miramar 221-1711 Mahachai, at Chinatown Monohra 271-0880-1 Suriwong Rd. Montien 234-8060 54 Surawongse Rd. Morakot 314-0761 New Petchburi, edge of BKK Narai 233-3350 222 Silom Rd. Narai Inn (GH) 258-0601 Sukhumvit, Soi 53 New Nana 252-0121 Sukhumvit, Soi 4 New Empire 234-6990 Chinatown New Fuji 234-5364-6 299-30 Surawongese Rd. New Peninsula 234-3910-7 Suriwong Rd. New Trocadero 234-8920-9 Suriwong Rd. Niagra 233-5783-4 26 Soi Silom 9, Silom Rd. Novotel Bangkok 255-6888 Soi 6, Siam Square Oriental 236-0400-20 Silom/Suriwong/New Road Park 255-4301-7 Sukhumvit, Soi 7 Plaza 235-1760-79 PR Union 437-0420-38 Pradipat 278-1470-8 173/1 Pradipat Rd, Sapankwai Prasuri (GH) 280-1428 85/1 Soi Prasuri, Dinsor Rd., Rajdamnern Ave. President Inn 255-4230-5 155/14-15 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd. Prince 251-3318 1537/1 New Perchburi Rd. Princess 281-3088 Democracy Monument PR Union Inn 439-2311-30 296/1-9 Soi 10, Issaraphap Rd, Klongsarn Quality Inn 253-5393 Sukhumvit, Soi 19 Quality Inn 253-7705 Sukhumvit, Soi 9 Rajah 255-0040-83 8 Soi 4, Sukhumvit Rd. Rajah Palace 277-6331 234 Ratchadapisek Rd. Huaykwang Rajsubhamitra (RS) 281-3644 Larn Luang, near UN Rama Gardens 579-5400 9/9 Viphavadi-Rangsit Rd. Ramada 234-8971-5 1169 Charoenkrung Rd. Regent Bangkok 251-6127 155 Rajdamri Rd. Regina 277-5581 1-9 Soonthronsiri, Ratchada-Pisek Rd. Huay Kwang Reno 215-0106-7 Rama I, national stadium Rex 259-0106-15 762/1 Sukhumvit Rd, Soi 32 River City (GH) 235-1429, 11/4 New Road, Soi 24. 235-1431 River View (GH) 234-5429, 768 Soi Panurangsee, Songwad Rd. 235-8501 Rose 233-7695-7 118 Suriwongse Rd. Royal 224-1907 Royal Asia Lodge 251-5514-6 Sukhumvit, Soi 8 Royal Garden Home 253-5458-62 63/1-4 Soi 3 Sukhumvit, Rd. Royal Hotel 222-9111-26 2 Rajdamnoen Rd. Royal Orchid Sheraton 234-5599 2 Captain Bush Lane, Siphya Rd. Royal Plaza 234-3091 Naret Rd. Royal River 433-0300-19 Krung Thon Bridge Ruamchit Mansion 254-0205-8 1-15 Soi 15, Sukhumvit Ruamchit Travelodge 252-5081, 11/1 Soi 10, Sukhumvit 251-0284 Sathorn Inn 234-4110 37 Soi Suksavithaya, Silom Rd. Shangri-La 236-7777 89 Soi Wat Suanplu, New Road Siam 252-5081, 1777 New Pechburi Rd, (Soi Asoke) 252-5858 Siam City 247-0130 Siam InterContinental 253-0355-7 Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Square Siam Orchard Inn 255-3140-3 Sri (GH) 381-1309, No. 1 Soi 38, Sukhumvit Rd. 381-1662 Silom Plaza 236-0333 320 Silom Rd. Stella Place 251-8255-8 120/359 Rachaprarop Rd. Phayathai. Suriwong's 233-3223-5 Suriwong Rd. Swan 233-8444 New Road Swiss Inn 255-4522-3 Tara 259-2909-19 Sukhumvit Tarntawan Place 238-2620-39 119/5-10 Surawongse Rd. Tawanna Ramada 236-0361 80 Surawongse Thai 282-2831-3 Prachatipat Rd. Thavorn house 278-2121 17/33 Ruamsirimitr Soi 3, Vipavadi Rangsit Rd. Tina Tower Inn 234-9409, 55/12-14 Soi Wat Suanplu, New Road. 235-8001 Tower Inn 237-8300-4 533 Silom Rd. Trocadero 234-8920-9 343 Surawongse Rd. Union Tower 314-1964-73 Victory 233-9060-9 322 Silom Rd. Viengtai 282-8672-4 Tani Rd, near UN Wall Street Inn 233-4164-7 37/20-24 Soi SurawongsePlaza, Surawongse Rd. Wattana Flat 252-9697/8 19 Soi Wattana (19) Sukhumvit Welcome Place 234-5402-4 30 Nares Rd. Bangrak White Orchard 226-0026 Windsor 258-0160 Sukhumvit, Soi 20 Woodlands Inn 235-6640-1 1158/5-7 Soi GPO Charoen Krung World 314-4340 New Petchburi, edge of BKK YMCA Collins House 287-1900, 27 South Sathorn Rd. 287-2727 YMCA Hotel 286-2329 Silom/Sathorn Rd. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 6 -- HOW TO BEHAVE It is a shame that this FAQ needs to have a section with this title, but the fact of the matter is that a lot of people simply have no idea how to act when they encounter a place like Bangkok. The author of this FAQ has been visiting the Kingdom of Thailand for 25 years, and has made a lot of mistakes, and been with friends who have made a lot of mistakes. Please, park your ego for a few minutes and learn from the mistakes of others. Doing so will help let Bangkok remain the wonderful place that it is. Rule # 1. Laugh and bring toys. If you can't laugh, don't go. Bangkok is a great place to have fun, and you have to be willing to laugh to enjoy yourself. Be prepared to laugh with the girls and to try and make them laugh with you. You will have a much better time if you can do this. It may sound stupid, but if you know coin tricks, sleight of hand, card tricks, or anything similar, practice up before you go, and you will have the time of your life. I've seen guys who can make a coin disappear surrounded by 15 or 20 half naked bar girls as he made coins disappear and reappear is some very unusual places. My last trip, I bought some note pads that looked like huge $100 and $500 bills. Gave them to the bar girls and the mamasans. Lots of laughs. One of the bar owners in Soi Cowboy taped one of the large bills directly over the cash drawer. Later that night, when I fell in love and it came time to pay the bar fine, the owner shook it off because I had made him laugh. If nothing else, bring a big bag of individually wrapped candies. Toss a handful on the stage and watch the reaction. Rule #2. Make love, not war. Bangkok is a great place to get blasted. The girls, the music, the girls, the beer, and the girls all add up to a very intoxicating environment. BUT, if you are a mean drunk, or like to fight when you get drunk, do us all a favor and stay home. Go to Bangkok to have a great time, not to have a great fight. Rule #3. Don't be a cheapskate. No, you don't have to act like an oil worker with money to blow, but keep things in perspective. Bargain away, but don't insult a bar girl by offering her 100 baht for all night, or by never buying a girl a drink. Rule #4. Be nice to the girls. For the most part, these are just simple country girls trying to make some money for their families up country. One of the great things about the Thai women is the fact that they are warm and friendly. They are not whores in the American or European sense of the word, so don't treat them like whores. Treat them like a girlfriend. Treat them with respect. They deserve it. Don't spend half the night in the bar buying one girl drinks and they try and take a different girl home. You have just terribly insulted the first girl in the process. If you go in the club and buy a drink for girl "A", and fall in love with girl "B", leave the club for a little while and then come back and buy a drink for girl "B". This way girl "A" saves "face" and you avoid a scene (not a scene in front of you, but a scene in the back room betweek the girls and the mamasan). I was in a small bar early one evening and there was a terrible commotion in the back room. Seems a guy had come in every night for a week and bought drinks and paid the barfine for this one girl. Then, out of the blue, he walks in and pays for a different girl to accompany him to the beach for a week. The first girl was trying to slash her wrists, not out of love, but out of shame because all of the other girls thought she must have treated the guy "number 10" to make him choose someone else like that. She had done nothing wrong, it was simply a case of raging hormones on the guy's part. Rule #5. Don't be an ugly American (or German or Aussie, etc.) Certainly, we all like to wave our respective flag. Just don't be a jerk about it. If you take a moment, you might just find that the German, Aussie, Brit or Yank on the next bar stool is basically just a horny dude like yourself, and if you buy each other a few beers you might find you've got a lot in common. Over the years I have gained many "best friends for life" whose names I never learned and who language I couldn't speak. We all share a common love for Thai women. Rule #6. Respect the few taboos. Never touch a Thai on the head. Never point your feet at a Thai. Avoid public displays of affection. Yes, I know she was hanging all over you in the bar, but that was in the bar. When you are walking down the street, keep your hands to yourself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 6 -- THERMAE COFFEE SHOP Lots of times when I get to Bangkok, I am coming down from Tokyo on a US airline, which means I don't arrive until about midnight. Figure it takes an hour to clear customs and immigration and another hour to get to the hotel. It is now 2 a.m. In most of the world's cities, you are lucky to find a cup of coffee at 2 a.m. But this is Bangkok! Grab a cab and head for the Ambassador Hotel on Sukhumvit Road. When you get there, pay the cab driver, walk out to Sukhumvit, turn left and go up half a block. There will be food stalls on the sidewalk and a lot of people milling around. Turn left and walk up the dark alley. Make sure you don't get run over in the process. Turn right as soon as you are past the building and look for the door where people are going in and out. Go in the door, past the unisex bathroom, down the stairs and through the narrow hallway. Watch out for the waiters carrying the trays of hot food! You are now in the Thermae coffee shop. You will NOT find a place to sit down. Force your way to the bar and order a beer. Mind you, there is barely enough room to turn around with all the people. This is the main gathering ground for all the off duty bartenders, dancers, masseuses, freelancers, and horny guys. Do not be surprised if you get "groped". If you do, gently grab the wrist of the groper and follow the arm until you reach the person. If you like her, great! If not, just smile and move along. If she is a he, don't go homophobic. The same rule of thumb applies. If you like him, great! If not, just smile and move along. There seems to almost always be a group of deaf mute girls hanging out and working the Therme. Look behind the juke box for them. They'll be signing to each other. Nothing beats the Therme for variety. You will find 16-40 year olds. Beautiful to ugly. Fat to skinny. All are looking to hook up with someone for "a good time". The "price" at the Therme varies greatly. Of course, there is no bar fine, but I've heard stories "long time" dates running as low as 300 Baht. Rumor has it that the Therme is owned by the Chief of Police of Bangkok. The bartender, is reported to be a corporal in the police! Neither is probably true. Usually you are very safe in the Therme, however, be careful on the streets around it late at night. As happens anywhere, tipsy, foreigners often end up giving up their wallet and its contents very easily. As a general rule of thumb when out partying in Bangkok, never carry your Credit Cards and only enough $$$ that you can afford to loose. Standard precautions....I've never had a problem, but you can't be too safe. Don't carry your Passport. Carry a photo copy of the double page with your picture! Yes, I know if you are an American it says right on the passport that it is illegal to photocopy, but, the potential hassle for doing so is miniscule compared to the major hassle of having to have your passport replaced when you have a 6 am departure scheduled. One of the great(?) things about Thermae is the single bathroom. It adds an all new aura to using the bathroom when you don't know if the person in the next stall is male, female or transvestite! It gets doubly interesting when they try and start up a conversation with you, or when the next stall has more than one occupant. My recommendation is if you venture into Thermae, use the bathroom, even if you don't have to use the bathroom. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 7 -- MASSAGE This is a totally fictional (wink-wink) story about the massage parlors of Bangkok. The action took place in Bangkok, where I was mixing a bit of pleasure with a lot of business. I had spent the better part of the day stuck in the notorious Bangkok traffic in a car with marginal air conditioning. I was pretty pooped and I didn't want to do the nightclub scene because despite being horny as hell from looking at the gorgeous Thai women all day, I didn't have the energy to deal with the fast-paced action at the clubs. So, I asked my driver to take me to one of the better massage parlors in Bangkok. I went in and was greeted by one of the managers who told me that I should go to the viewing area and select one of the girls. Having visited establishments like this around the world, and had every conceivable "con" run on me, I figured that I would see if I could get the ground rules and costs established -- before I made my selection and started thinking with my "little brain". The manager, who was wearing a nice suit and tie, told me that the price was 2500 baht, and for that price I would get the girl, the room, a bath, massage, blow job and fuck. I thought that the price was a tad high, but figured that if this place was one of the it might be worth it. I asked if the price was negotiable and he laughed saying that I could pay more, but certainly not less. He also told me that if I was not satisfied in any way, to let him know and he would make it right. I figure that I had just received as much assurance as I was ever going to get, and told him to point me to the viewing area. He directed me to the other end of the room where behind mirrored glass they had at least 50 girls, sitting around, wearing what looked like togas, and watching television. I could see them but they could not see me unless I wanted to step up to an area where the glass was two-way. Each lady wore a small plastic button with a number. God, what a selection, there were small girls and there were tall girls, there were big tits, small tits, medium tits. There were big asses and small asses and there were asses that you just wanted to bite. The one thing in common was long jet black hair and perfect complexions. There were no Harley Davidson tattoos to be found, no needle marks, no gum chewers, no inch-thick makeup, no old women, and no ugly women. The deal here was to pick a lady on the basis of looks and give her number to the manager. the ladies, in turn, use different methods of getting attention. some just face the glass and smile, not knowing if they are being observed or not. Some make a point of being in the front row, others are more content to sit towards the back. Some of the ladies knit, others watch the television, others just talk to one another. If someone steps up to the area where the glass is two-way, many of the girls will try and establish eye contact while nodding or pointing to their numbers. After about 10 minutes of just standing there in front of the one-way glass, staring with my mouth wide open, my dick getting hard and my heart throbbing because I wanted them all, I decided which lady I wanted to spend some time with. I gave her number to the manager who went to a small telephone and paged her. While waiting for her to come out of the room, I paid the fee and was soon greeted by a beautiful young lady who had a name about 3 miles long. She laughed when I tried saying her name and said that I could call her Nit. Nit put her arm around me and guided me to an elevator, which we used to get to the top floor. There we went down a long hall and entered the room. What a room! It was about 12 x 12, had a double tub, a wide, nicely made bed, a padded bench and a large open area that was half carpeted and half done in ceramic tile. It was also immaculate and smelled clean and fresh. We were followed in the room by a waitress who took our drink orders. Nit told me to sit on the end of the bed while she got the tub ready -- and proceeded to full the tub with hot sudsy water. A few moments later our drinks arrived, and so did an old woman carrying an inflated air mattress. Yes, this was the type of air mattress you use in a swimming pool to lie on and get a tan. The type that is made up of about 8 long vertical tubes filled with air, and topped by a similarly inflated "pillow." At this point I had absolutely no idea what the air mattress was for, but figured "what the hell, you pay your money and you take your chances." By now we were alone in the room, I had my drink, a mysterious air mattress, and Nit. She turned on some music and told me to stand up. When I did so, she proceeded to undress me is a most sensual manner. Sensual when it wasn't funny. Nit stood about 4'10" and I'm a bit over 6', so I had to bend over to help her get my T-shirt off. None the less, she made full use of her hands throughout, rubbing my nipples, caressing my sides, tickling my balls and scratching my ass. By now I had a raging hard-on, which she mostly ignored, other than to pantomime that it was truly huge and would possibly split her in half. Nit was a good actress, and I appreciated her effort to make me feel special. Nit had me sit down and went over to check the tub. At this point, she slipped out of the toga and took her black bra and panties off, while she splashed around the tub getting the water ready for me. What a body! Nit called me over to the tub and helped me get it. She then proceeded to join me. Nit then washed and scrubbed every inch of me, while I used the time to explore every inch of her body -- a soapy tit here, a smooth thigh there, a handful of nearly hairless snatch in between. I figured I was in pussy heaven -- and still had no idea what the air mattress was for. After about 15 minutes of rub-a-dub-dub, me-and-Nit-in-a-tub, she had me stand up while she rinsed me off. She then got out of the tub and put the air mattress on the floor and hand me lie down on it. She then dumped a whole bottle of shampoo into a tub of warm water and made a real soapy mixture. Nit then poured some of the mixture on my back and proceeded to wash me again, this time sliding her body up and down against mine, using the soapy water as a lubricant. She turned me into a big, white, bald, slip and slide, where she slipped and I was the slide. She did this on every part of my body for about 15 minutes, and it was one of the most erotic episodes I've ever had in my life. Alas, we eventually ran out of her soapsuds mixture, so Nit had me step back into the tub where she rinsed me off, we then went up to the carpeted area, where she dried me off and had me lie face down on the bed. Nit then went back to the tub, rinsed herself off, dried off, and joined me on the bed where she proceeded to spend the next fifteen or twenty minutes giving me an absolutely thorough massage. She worked every muscle in my body, popped all my finger and toe joints and gave my scalp a working over that makes me tingle just thinking about it. At this point I really faced an emotional dilemma. I was still incredibly horny from the "slip and slide" and wanted to fuck anything that moved -- especially Nit. On the other hand, the massage was so relaxing that I felt like I could drop off to sleep at any moment. Nit, however, resolved my dilemma by giving me the best oral sex I have ever had. After I was fully aroused, blind with passion and ready to die and go to heaven, she climbed onto me and we made love. After we finished, Nit lay beside me for a while, kissing me and playing with my balls, and then went over to the tub and turned on the water. I watched as she washed herself off, both on the outside and the inside. She called me over and proceeded to give me a full shower, scrubbing every inch of me, as if she hadn't done the same thing about an hour earlier. She then dried me off using a big fluffy towel and told me to go lie down on the bed again. I watched as she cleaned up the tub area, washed off her air mattress, and put all of her soap containers away. She then put on her toga and had me get up then helped me get dressed. --------------end of story------------ I have a few final notes: First, it was not overpriced. We spent about an hour and a half together and it was everything the manager promised. the 2,500 baht price is the price that the average tourist can expect to pay if taken to a massage parlor by a taxi or hired car. The walk-in prices range from 1,200 to 2,000 baht. The better you speak Thai, the lower the price. Mid-aftgernoon is cheaper than 8 p.m. Second, if the service is good, tip the girl 300 to 500 baht. Don't be embarrassed, just fold up the money and hand it to her saying "for you". She will understand you. Third, I'm still not sure when she slipped the condom on me. In the last 5 years, I cannot recall a time at a major massage parlor when condom use was not required. Some massage parlors call the routine with the air mattress a "tora tora" or "B Course" massage". Don't confuse the inside managers at the massage parlors with the touts mentioned elsewhere in this FAQ. They are totally different, and you should work with the massage parlor managers. Remember, this is not a recommendation for that particular massage parlor. There are several dozen in the city that can serve you just as well. Some of the better massage parlors are Mona Lisa, Darling, James Bond, Chao Phya, and La Cherie. How do you find them? Ask. Ask at the front desk of the hotel where you are staying and they will refer you to several close by. Don't be embarrassed. If you ask a taxi driver, the driver will take you as well, and will follow you in to get a commission. Many of the massage parlors print full-color brochures that the cab drivers have. If you are staying at a nicer hotel, ask as the transportation desk. Do not get suckered in by someone stopping you on the street and showing you the massage brochure. They are touts and will get paid a commission for bringing you in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 8 -- DISCOS There are legitimate discos all over Bangkok. If you want to hear some great music and dance the night away, by all means head for a disco. Most have a cover change that amounts to $2-$5, and it sometimes includes your first drink. This is great, you might be saying, someplace to go where there is no sex for sale. Wrong! Freelance "entertainers" hang out at virtually every disco. How do you find them. First, open your eyes. Look around, make some eye contact. If you are in a disco unescorted, they noticed you. Some may even just sit down beside you, or even ask you to dance. If you are really having a difficult time with this, go move to one of the darkest corners in the disco. True love wil come to you. Beware! Transvestites can and do hang out at the discos. Make sure that the she you are picking up is really a she! As there are no bar fines or mamasans at the discos, everything is up to you and your powers of negotiation. Remember also, that if the lady you picked up does not work at a regular nightclub, she may not be getting regular, weekly, VD checks. Hanging out at a disco does not qualify as working at a nightclub in this context. I've been told by some wide-eyed Bangkok newbies that they would never go to a nightclub to met a "professional", they would only go to a disco and meet "amateurs". Yup, they are right, I have it on good authority that the Easter Bunny personally delivers a dozen virgin amateurs to the discos each night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 9 -- ESCORT SERVICES This is quite simple. Yes, escort agencies do exist, and they are reputable. If you absolutely hate the bar scene they are an acceptable alternative. Try to visit, rather than call, and you will be allowed to look through a photo album and choose your companion. The risk is that the photo is more than a year old, or that she speaks virtually no English. Now, for those of you from Germany or France, I realize that not speaking English is probably an asset, [just kidding!] but rest assured, at an escort agency, it is virtually impossible to find a girl who speaks anything orther than Thai, Laotion, Khmer or English. However, if you are a western female, and are looking for an escort, you should absolutely call an escort agency. Call and make an appointment for a visit. It is a safe bet that your escort will be either the owner of the agency, or one of his best friends. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 10 SHORT TIME HOTELS Scattered throughout the city are short time hotels. These are the places that you can rent by the hour or the evening, no baggage is required and there is no hassle. Don't think in terms of some seedy motel wsith soiled sheets like you would find in the US. These are (usually) smaller hotels or guest houses that simply cater to the "entertainment" trade. You can get a room for an hour, several hours or all night. There are a great number of these hotels near Patpong because the girls don't want to go to your hotel -- and probably can't get in. There are also a couple by the airport. I have a friend who ofent makes his internatinal flight connections through Bangkok when heading to Europe. He always looks forward to a 6 or 8 hour mechanical delay, bacause it gives him a chance to head for one of the short time hotels near the airport. But, you might ask, how does he have time to find the girl? Easy, many short-time hotels come pre-stocked with a selection for the visitor to choose from. How do you find one? Simple, every bar girl knows where one is. Every taxi driver knows the words "short time hotel." Or, because this is Bangkok, just stop some tourist-looking person in the company of a young lady and ask. Chances are that either he or she knows, and if they know, they will tell you, or even escort you there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 11 -- LADY HOUSES OF BANGKOK [The following is extracted from a article posted on CompuServe that was written by Tom Boswell and the original, full length document is Copyright, 1993.] I have saved what I consider best for last, the Lady Houses. These institutions are rather like a finishing school for young prostitutes, and I imagine that many of these girls do go on to the other establishments as they get older. Most of them are young -- usually about 18 to 22, and they are usually not hardened professionals but relatively new to the business and often new to Bangkok as well. You are driven to the Lady House, which is located in a suburb of Bangkok, by a taxi driver once it has become clear to him that you are not satisfied with the places to which he has taken you in the heart of the city. You drive up to what looks like an ordinary suburban Bangkok home. These neighborhoods are very different from an American suburb, more densely packed, with drab colors and high walls that give it a slightly claustrophobic but mysterious kind of feel. There are usually several men who open the gate for you, although sometimes it might be one or more of the girls. You leave the taxi and enter the main house where you are greeted by the Mama-san. She usually knows some English, with which she offers you a seat and asks if you would like a drink. As you wait for the drink, young women begin to enter the room and sit down on couches or benches around the periphery. They may be laughing and giggling, they may be doing their nails, they may seem bored or anxious to get back to whatever they were doing before you arrived, or they may seem as though they hope you will choose them. You sit and drink your drink and talk with the Mama-san while you look back and forth around the room trying to decide which girl you want. The Mama-san asks you how long you will be in Thailand, and she will encourage you to take a lady for the whole trip--with the right to exchange her for another, of course. In any case, though, these girls never go out for less than an entire evening. They are not on an hourly. If you just want one night, until late the next morning, the price will be about 1500 Baht ($60) or up. If you are interested in the whole week, it drops to about 1200 Baht ($48). In addition, it is proper to tip these girls after the night or the week or whatever--about 500 Baht ($20) per night will make her happy. [Remember, all prices mentioned are 1993 prices. Your actual price may vary.] Tom also asked that I mention: COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics) is an organization that works for the rights of sex workers, including prostitutes. If you agree that Prostitution should be de-criminalized and that sex workers should have the same legal rights and protections as all other citizens, please make a donation, large or small, to COYOTE, C/O L'Ecole, 1341 Ocean Ave., #151, Santa Monica, CA 90401. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 12 -- JAPANESE CLUBS If you are Japanese, and choose not to socialize with Westerners or non-Japanese Asians, head for Soi Tantawan and Thaniya Road. These two streets, which run on either side of and parallel to Patpong I & II, feature very expensive Japanese- style hostess bars which usually bar non-Japanese from entering. One Thai I know explained the high pricing this way: "The Japanese think they are superior to the Thais, so we make them pay for their superiority." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PART 13 -- GAY BAR LISTING The following information was taken from a collection of advertisements in the "Angel City" tourist magazine, volume 8, No. 3, February 1994. The author has no firsthand knowledge of the places listed herein, but provides the information in the belief that diversity in lifestyles is but one factor in the fabric of a rich society. Colour 645/25-26 New Petchburi Road, Bangkok (Opposite the Indonesian embassy) Phone 252-9221 * Open 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. * More than 40 hosts * VIP rooms * Karaoke & sing along * Thais and foreigners welcome Midnight Cowboy Lounge 1407/13-14 Soi Laleewan, (Opposite V-Star cafe or turn left at Stax, before the Embassy Hotel) Phone 279-5712 * Go-go dancing from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. * Cabaret show at 11 p.m. * 40 "Cowboys" White Horse 645/53 New Petchburi Road, (Opposite the Indonesian embassy) Phone 255-2679, 252-9715 * Classic Decor * More than 30 hosts * Karaoke & sing along K*Nude 11407/8-9 Soi Laleewan, (Near Midnight Cowboy) Phone 279-4960 * Live Music * Electric Organ * Go-go boys * 30 hosts * Cabaret show 3 times a day * Open 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. Stax 9 Soi Ko Toei Pradipat Rd. (5-9 Soi 20 Pradipat Rd.), (Near the Embassy hotel) Phone 278-4018, 278-1512 * Laser Disc system * Open 6 p.m. to 5 a.m. * No cover charge. Tawan 2/2 Soi Tantawan, Suriwongse Rd., (near Patpong) Phone 234-5506 * Cabaret show * 40 hosts * Go-go show * No cover charge * Open 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. King's Heaven 235/18 Soi C.S. Apartment., (opposite Prasmmitr University) (Near Julie Hotel, Asoke Rd) Phone 258-3832 Klongtoey, Bangkok * Open 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. * VIP room * Safety locker * Karaoke Girlaxy Boy 161-161/1 Surawongse Rd., Phone 233-7901 * VIP rooms * Guide service * Music ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION 3 -- PATTAYA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This section under construction. It should appear in Version 2.0. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION 4 -- PHUKET ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This section under construction. It should appear in Version 2.0. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SECTION 5 -- NORTHERN PROVINCES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This section under construction. It should appear in Version 3.0. =========================================================================== Note: This FAQ is not maintained by the original author any more. If you are knowledgeable enough, you can take it over and send me an updated version.
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